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[09 Aug 2002|03:43am] |
[music|Kenny Loggins - Highway to the Danger Zone]
[mood|Aroused]
[hate|Pop-ups on pr0n sites]
I've decided that since I am a huge geek, and would like to perpetuate my nerdy image, whenever I masturbate, I will listen to "Highway to the Danger Zone." This will perpetuate my fantasies that I am actually a badass leather-wearing motorcycle riding tough guy, and that I constantly do things wrong.
It will also make me feel like I am being a badass by touching myself in my room in the dark. This will booster my self esteem greatly, as I am a sad little man who doesn't have a girlfriend and probably never will.
I'm so badass, in fact, that I'm going to send a nasty e-mail to Bill Gates, callously calling it M$ to his face! Or... to his secretary's face. I'll stun them with my use of the <^> ^_^ kawii emoticon! I might even throw in an ASCII butt, because that's how badass I am. I mean, didn't you hear? I regularly take the Highway to the Danger Zone by myself...
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[06 Aug 2002|07:22pm] |
[music|Howie Day - Everything Else]
[mood|Homocidal]
[hate|Christians]
All right, I know I said I wasn't going to bash Christians anymore (at least, not just because they are Christian), but they tempt me so much! I'm not a Christian, so giving into temptation is fucking cool! So on with the Christian bashing.
Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
No one sees a problem with this? Other than the fact that if I were writing a book that would take advantage of people's depressive states, that is one of the first things I would put in there. I mean, "Look, I'm God, I can take away your pain... but only if you follow me, otherwise, eternal pain." People who are feeling like shit think that it's sooo beautiful. There are a million fucking verses like this that, if I were to design a control mechanism that everyone would feel good about believing, that's the kind of shit I would put in there. I mean, they got it covered!
"I don't want to never see x again, because they are dead."
"Well, tell you what, you do everything I say, and God will let you see them again."
"I feel so helpless, and I wish there were something I can do for x, who is in the hospital/dying/sick."
"Well, tell you what, you pay omage to God, and he'll fix things."
-later-
"He died! God didn't do it!"
"Well, that's because God wanted him to be with his friends."
"Oh! That's all right, I guess. He is with God now."
-or-
"It worked! Praise God!"
"God can do anything! See!"
It's a fucking cult! How can people not see this.
STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!
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[02 Aug 2002|04:34am] |
[music|Ruroni Kenshin - Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu]
[mood|Stupid]
[hate|Whoever would think about filling out the stupid survey]
Ok, I've noticed alot of people on this thing have been filling out little surveys, and I am a creative guy, so I figured, I'll make a survey. Everyone fill it out and post it! Then send me a copy of the first and last questions.
Name:
Sex:
Birthdate:
Why you care about this stupid thing:
Why you are a fucking moron (if you have gotten this far, you cannot say anything akin to 'I'm not' accurately):
Favorite Color:
Why you think anyone gives a shit about what color you prefer:
Why you think anyone gives a shit about your pathetic life:
Are you still filling this piece of shit out:
I would describe myself as:
If that was positive: Why you feel the need to be a lying bastard:
If that was negative: Why you made it this far into this stupid thing:
Address and Phone Number so I can call you, tell you I'm coming, then kick the crap out if you for being a moron:
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[01 Aug 2002|06:16am] |
[music|Talking Heads - Psycho Killer]
[mood|Tired]
[hate|Idiots]
The following are 4 arguments against evolution. Anyone using them will be shot on sight.
1.)The Bible says God Created Earth in 7 Days, that's how many finger ah have.
2.)Look at the perfection of the world and how beautiful it is, is it possible that it didn't have intelligent design?
3.)If we evolved from Monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
4.)Bodies are so efficient, if there wasn't intelligent design we would still have tails and other unnecessary things.
Ok, this may fly in ALABAMA or Missouri, but here in the real world, you don't believe everything you hear. The second one, Yes, nature is beautiful, but how would a species continue its existence without a love for its environment? The people who didn't find beauty in nature would have been weeded out a long time ago, since there was nothing else there. And third, there are still monkeys, you retard, because it's possible for one species to split into two. I mean, not every chimp has to evolve, and if there are beneficial mutations in just a few of the chimps, they can't all become direct descendants of that particular chimp, there are just some lines where there is less hair and bigger brains and other lines that just stay the same. As for the fourth, over millions of years, the creatures with beneficial mutations have been more attractive mates and so their mutations have been common. If something is not beneficial because it is no longer needed, the person is less attractive. At one point, it would be natural for humans to have had much larger ears than they do now, because larger ears means better hearing, and you are less likely to be snuck up on and killed. Now-adays, since larger ears are not necessary, they seem to be an unattractive trait. Furthermore, there ARE organs and things that many creatures don't need to survive anymore but have, such as the human appendix. So don't make me kill you with vestigial organs.
Now on to people who have an emotional attachment to a certain act, such as reading a certain book or having sex. Here's a fucking clue: Life is complicated enough without attaching random emotional or religious stigmas to things. If something makes you happy, feel free to do it. If doing something else would make someone else unhappy and you want that person to be happy, by all means, do something else. I would be unhappy if a guy came up and spooged on my keyboard, that would suck. I wouldn't mind, however, spooging on someone else's keyboard, because it would feel very good to spooge at all. However, certain feelings I have, known as empathy, tell me that it would be not a good thing to do that. I have heard a lot of people say things like, "I want my first time having sex to be special" or some other crap. Let me ask you, when you first ate a sandwich, did you wait for the 'perfect' reuben? Did you wait till just the right time of day to eat it? Did you savor every morsel? And what is with this, "abstain", thing, anyway? If something makes you feel good, just go ahead and do it. If there are risks involved, do what is most effective to neutralize the risk, and then go ahead and do your business. Marriage? Woo-hoo, a lifelong commitment on a piece of paper that means nothing! Very stupid.
Also, I would like to mention that not capitalizing your I's and not using good grammar to the best of your ability means you will be shot on sight. If you are too lazy to type out an entire word, you have no business saying words that long. If anyone ever asks me a/s/l, they will also be shot.
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[24 Jul 2002|03:26pm] |
[mood|Alone]
[music|Radiohead - Karma Police]
[hate|Sports fans]
Oh cruel world! Why must I hate your idiotic inhabitants? WHY!? WHY, population of Earth, do you find the need to scream Woo! and whistle in obnoxious ways at concerts and events? Why not just clap? How about this, we'll watch some TV together, and every few seconds, I will scream loudly in your ear. I wonder, do you like that? I don't think you do.
Furthermore, if you are at a sporting event in the first place, for whatever reason, why the fuck must you take off your shirt while screaming? I don't care how much of a fan you are, do not paint yourself any colors. Maybe if you are a female supermodel and you wish to remove your clothes and paint your body in spirit of the team, then it is acceptable, because female supermodels are always welcome to be naked. However, if you are a die hard football fan and don't mind not wearing a shirt in -10 degree weather, chances are you are fairly overweight.
Please, people, be more considerate, or I will have to cut your face off with an exacto-knife.
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[22 Jul 2002|09:24pm] |
[mood|Hardcore]
[music|Michael Jackson - Beat it]
[hate|Idiots who find swears vulgar]
Ok, I really fucking hate idiots, I do. Now seriously, may I ask why people are offended by swears? They say they find it vulgar, but objectively, you could find the word "giraffe" offensive, because it's just as arbitrary as "fuck" or "shit."
"Damn Bob, did you see that fucking giraffe?"
"Fred would you watch the mouth around my kids?"
"Sorry Bob. Damn, Bob did you see that fucking long-neck?"
I mean, Fuck a lemur in the ass and call it Susan! Plus they say that use of swears makes a sentence unintelligent looking? Let me tell you something, you punkass whores, "Damn! Those fuckers drove a plane into that skyscraper!" is alot more intelligent than, "evry1 btr watch out, cuz im new here and im not leaving ne room for old fog-es." or some other idiotic bastard child of the english language that people use on the internet.
So for all of you idiots who hate swearing, I fucking hate you and I suggest you sleep with a rifle next to your bed, cause there have been accidents when people come into your house and are standing over your bed with a pillow when they have a heart attack and then fall on you face and several minutes later you are dead from suffocation and they realise it was heart-burn. Accidents will happen, and you need a gun to be prepared for them.
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[19 Jul 2002|10:35pm] |
[mood|Kickin' it old school]
[music|Hooverphonic - Inhaler]
[hate|Punkass bitches]
Kiddies, you ready for school?
Today's Lesson: Not messing with Paul.
Ok, let's start. Don't mess with me! Ok, now I have a question for you:
What happens when you feel like messing with Paul?
a. Don't mess with Paul.
b. Mess with Paul.
c. Jam a pen up your nose.
d. A and C.
e. B and C.
The answer: d. A and C.
POP QUIZ!!!
You just messed with Paul, what do you think the result will be?
a. Paul's gonna cut your bitch ass.
b. Your bitch ass is going to get cut by someone else.
c. Bitch ass?! My ass ain't no bitch. Oh, my, you're gonna cut me now, aren't you.
d. You can't cut me if I'm running away!
Answer: Trick question, YOU DON'T MESS WITH PAUL.
This has been today's lesson.
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[17 Jul 2002|08:54am] |
[mood|BURNING RAGE]
[music|Bohemian Rhapsody]
[hate|poets]
You know who I hate? I hate fucking poets! I FUCKING HATE THEM! Seriously, the next new-age ugly bag of mostly water that comes near me gets to know what it feels like to have a size 11 boot up their ass. Here's some poetry for you, you fucking morons:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Poetry is stupid
And so are you.
How do you like that, punk. Oh, and I suggest you ditch that stupid beret before entering your house, cause I may or may not have killed your pets and left them hanging, slit open, above your doorway. Bloodstains can be very messy on a beret.
In other news, I can't decide who I hate more, christians who force their religion on me, republicans who try and make christianity law or people who comfort sick people with things like "god is with you," which, when they get out of their 110o fever, translates to, "I had a vision of God! I am a new born Christian!" Seems better if your caretaker had caught whatever you had, crawled into a hole and died as they wished for their "God" to come and get them.
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[09 Apr 2002|08:32am] |
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mood |
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Rage |
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music |
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Aphex Twin - Xtal |
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Oops! I punched you in the face! Yeah, that's right, I punched you right in the face, you wanna do something about it? Well that's too bad, punk, cause I got a knife right here that says if you get a step closer, I'll cut you. You know what they say, every time a punkass bitch gets cut, a hell's angel gets its wings. I'm a nice guy, so I think I'll distribute some fucking wings!
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